Bitch

The bitch story occurred long before we learned Marcus had Tourette syndrome. I don’t remember if he had said the word before the day we went to Wegmans (a local grocery store chain) or not. Marcus would have had to be 2 years old or thereabouts. He was still young enough and small enough to ride in the grocery cart.

We had finished our shopping and were in the check out line. I had spent the majority of my shopping time putting back items Marcus had taken off the shelf and put in the cart and telling him “no you can’t have that”. All kids do this sort of thing, but the frequency and intensity with which Marcus asks for stuff is pretty amazing. The check out aisles are really tight at the East Avenue Wegmans and so when you are at the cash register, you are right on the candy/gum shelves. Needless to say, Marcus went nuts. When I said no and put stuff back he started. “Bitch … bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch … bitch (said in a sing song pattern).

I was completely shocked and froze in place. Oh my god! And of course he was shouting this as loudly as he could. All heads turned toward us and all the women in the store, especially the Black women (remember Marcus is biracial), looked at me. Their eyes said, “well, what are you going to do about this?” Then … “what a terrible mother she must be that her son knows that word.” I was completely freaked. I didn’t know what to say or do and all my attempts to get him to stop just made him say it louder. All I could do was finish as fast as I could and run, literally, run from the store.

He used the word a lot after that. I think he loved the sound of “b” combined with “itch”. We tried substitution with similar words (batch, pitch) and it worked sometimes. Substitution can be a pretty effective strategy with kids with Tourette and OCD. Marcus needed to say the sounds and the forbidden nature of the word made it irresistible. He “needed” to tear books or push over the toddler. Finding other things for him to tear (I try to always have paper around for him to tear), or letting him slap my hand when he wants to hit someone have worked with him. There are always those times when it slips out though. The two elderly ladies in the hospital elevator a few years later were pretty shocked when “bitch” slipped out of an adorable 4 year old boy’s mouth. I wasn’t embarrassed that time though.