I've procrastinated writing because Marcus has been so over the top. One incident is so out there that I think I should stop telling people. The look on their faces makes me realize how much chaos I have become used to. I wasn't even surprised when it happened. Grossed out and pissed off, but not surprised. I'll tell it one last time.
There is a boy in Marcus's class that he has recently targeted. I have to admit that Marcus is a bully. Nothing this kid can do is okay with Marcus and, according to Marcus, it's all this kid's fault. (His lack of responsibility taking drives me crazy). So the day before yesterday, Marcus took this kid's cap, went to the bathroom, pooped, and wiped his ass with the cap. <pause> I mean, what are you supposed to do with something like that?! Typical consequences seems silly. Of course we had them but they seemed silly and it didn't stop Marcus from continuing to harass this kid to the point of getting suspended. He didn't get suspended for bullying, but for the violent tantrum he had when the school removed him from the classroom. More property destruction.
At home things haven't been that great either. The list includes a broken antique window (threw the dog toy too hard) and a bathroom door off its hinges (opened it too hard). One good thing is that we got a new puppy (rescued pit bull from a local fighting ring), but I'm worried about Marcus and the puppy. Yesterday he hurt him when he pulled the toy too hard out from under his leg. All of these are what Marcus calls "accidents". I don't buy it. But then what does that mean about the dog? Am I totally fooling myself? And Marcus brandished a knife at the skill builder (see last entry). Am I in denial about how dangerous Marcus is?
I am starting to think about residential placement again. I know, I've been here before and didn't do it. But it's four months at Halpern and I am not seeing growth. He recognizes what he's done wrong in the moment, does the restitution work, but repeats the behavior or comes up with another one that's worse the very next day. Remember the poop? Forget about academics.
I need someone to tell me the right thing to do. Any takers?
There is a boy in Marcus's class that he has recently targeted. I have to admit that Marcus is a bully. Nothing this kid can do is okay with Marcus and, according to Marcus, it's all this kid's fault. (His lack of responsibility taking drives me crazy). So the day before yesterday, Marcus took this kid's cap, went to the bathroom, pooped, and wiped his ass with the cap. <pause> I mean, what are you supposed to do with something like that?! Typical consequences seems silly. Of course we had them but they seemed silly and it didn't stop Marcus from continuing to harass this kid to the point of getting suspended. He didn't get suspended for bullying, but for the violent tantrum he had when the school removed him from the classroom. More property destruction.
At home things haven't been that great either. The list includes a broken antique window (threw the dog toy too hard) and a bathroom door off its hinges (opened it too hard). One good thing is that we got a new puppy (rescued pit bull from a local fighting ring), but I'm worried about Marcus and the puppy. Yesterday he hurt him when he pulled the toy too hard out from under his leg. All of these are what Marcus calls "accidents". I don't buy it. But then what does that mean about the dog? Am I totally fooling myself? And Marcus brandished a knife at the skill builder (see last entry). Am I in denial about how dangerous Marcus is?
I am starting to think about residential placement again. I know, I've been here before and didn't do it. But it's four months at Halpern and I am not seeing growth. He recognizes what he's done wrong in the moment, does the restitution work, but repeats the behavior or comes up with another one that's worse the very next day. Remember the poop? Forget about academics.
I need someone to tell me the right thing to do. Any takers?
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ReplyDeleteJoanne,
ReplyDeleteIt is probably time to seriously consider another residential placement. Marcus needs the consistency that it offers, as well as the ability of rotating staff to deal with both his regular and special needs appropriately. As difficult as it is to face, it is hard for parents of such a unique child to always be on point with his needs. You need to consider what is best for both Marcus and the rest of your family. Marcus will inderstand it. He did very well last time, and should show the same success with the right placement. Good luck.
Thanks to everyone for your comments and feedback. We have taken some steps toward residential but then get cold feet when he starts to put together a string of good days. We are still in the process though. Thanks again.
ReplyDelete