I've been hesitant to post the past few weeks because I started to feel like I was only posting negative things. The bad news is that a bunch of stuff has happened and that it is mostly rough stuff. Our downstairs bathroom door is off its hinges, for example, due to Marcus flinging it open past the hinge capacity. At 6'2" he doesn't know his own strength. It was an "accident". He's had some rough days at school, but he did finally agree to work with the new one-to-one. Not sure what they meant by rough days, but one report was that, while he worked well with the new one-to-one, he didn't spend much time in the classroom. Not sure I'd call that a rough day. I think it's unrealistic to expect him to do both things well at the early stage of a big transition. And for Marcus, all transitions are big.
I had another "bad mom" day the day Marcus had off school for Veteran's Day. By early afternoon, I was totally fed up with him. He literally exhausted me with talk. I think in his mind, he was "having a conversation". He and I clearly differ in how we define conversation. What I experience is a non-stop, stream of consciousness monologue where my only turn is to say "yes" or "hmmm". The speed with which he changes topics is dizzying. I even tried to go out together after feeling guilty that I don't take him out much. By the time we got back from a park hike with the dog, I thought I would lose my mind with impatience. It might not sound bad to you reading this because it's very hard to explain in writing what it is like to spend time with Marcus. Trust me that it's exhausting and patience trying. I did my best to be patient and responsive but I fear that I ended up being short and shut down.
We are full on into the "holiday arc" wherein Marcus gets increasingly anxious from Halloween to Christmas. Anna will be coming home for Thanksgiving next week which has him pacing and obsessive already. He'll be a tidal wave of excitement by the time she walks in the door. I'll be surprised if she remains standing.
I had another "bad mom" day the day Marcus had off school for Veteran's Day. By early afternoon, I was totally fed up with him. He literally exhausted me with talk. I think in his mind, he was "having a conversation". He and I clearly differ in how we define conversation. What I experience is a non-stop, stream of consciousness monologue where my only turn is to say "yes" or "hmmm". The speed with which he changes topics is dizzying. I even tried to go out together after feeling guilty that I don't take him out much. By the time we got back from a park hike with the dog, I thought I would lose my mind with impatience. It might not sound bad to you reading this because it's very hard to explain in writing what it is like to spend time with Marcus. Trust me that it's exhausting and patience trying. I did my best to be patient and responsive but I fear that I ended up being short and shut down.
We are full on into the "holiday arc" wherein Marcus gets increasingly anxious from Halloween to Christmas. Anna will be coming home for Thanksgiving next week which has him pacing and obsessive already. He'll be a tidal wave of excitement by the time she walks in the door. I'll be surprised if she remains standing.
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